Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize