He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
