Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
