Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Even my vagina gasped.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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