you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
