Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize