awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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