Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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