Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
