remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
