4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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