I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
