I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
