he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
