I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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