you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
