if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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