Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
