honey bunches of taint.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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