Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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