I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
NoShamevember. You game?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize