She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
