A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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