I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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