Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
