I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
