Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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