If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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