Cold hands, warm shart.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize