I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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