We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
