can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
