this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
