so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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