You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize