Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
