remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
