i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
3pm strippers are depressing
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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