i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
