apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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