I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
