why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
