I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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