Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize