Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
