He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
