Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Randomize
