So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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