Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
