he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
