You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Who died my cat blue again?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
