M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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