Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dear god my vagina.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
