You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
