There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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