Me. At least after what I've been through.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize