Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
