So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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