hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
