So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize