she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
