Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
