Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
